What Do You Want Out Of A Relationship – 12 Essential Tips

In relationships, people may get carried away by the waves of passions and the thought of having a companion in one’s life.

Before diving into a new relationship or trying to improve a current one, it’s crucial to take a step back and ask yourself: What do you want out of a relationship? What are my real needs and interests when I am in a relationship?

It will assist you in a process of personal discovery to dig deep down for what you want, need, and what you won’t tolerate in a relationship so you can find or create that satisfying and genuine relationship.

Self-awareness is crucial when it comes to what do you want out of a relationship. If these components are missing, one might be accepting a lot less than what he deserves or getting into a relationship with the wrong partner.

Relationships can be built intentionally with careful consideration of each person’s needs to understand the factors that lead to happiness and contentment.

Many individuals are bound to bad relationships because they never make the time to define what they want in a relationship.

They may be drawn towards some physical features or personality traits, but without proper self-awareness of one’s psychological and emotional needs, they are unable to develop healthy relationships.

Once you have a specific understanding of what do you want out of a relationship, it is easier to convey those requirements to a partner and build a mutual understanding.

To determine what do you want out of a relationship, begin by assessing yourself. Reflect on the following aspects of your life and personality:

Among all the principles that can be used to make decisions and form your personal beliefs, which would you choose? Be cautious when commenting on your beliefs on religion, politics, and morals.

Do you prefer the things which have been tried and tested, or do you consider yourself as someone who is an adrenaline junkie? In other words, are you oriented in your day-to-day activities, or are you someone who lives life at the moment?

Your values and beliefs make up a large component of what do you want out of a relationship. Finding a partner who aligns with your values and beliefs will enhance the relationship and avoid many potential conflicts.

What are your short-term and long-term goals professionally, personally, and regarding family? Consider the goals or desires you want to achieve in the short- and long-term.

Are you clear about your life goals and aspirations?

• Do you intend to establish your own business?
• Do you wish to travel around the world, or raise a family?
• Are you more concerned about being promoted to a higher rank in the company, or are you more concerned about spending time with your family?

What do you want out of a relationship that makes you feel appreciated, cherished, and emotionally satisfied?

Reflect on your and your partner’s attachment style and the closeness you want in a relationship.

Which of the two intimate needs best describes you: physical needs, such as cuddling and touching, or personal space, which includes time to be alone?

Do you look for comfort with your partner and need to hear compliments frequently, or do you like to have more quality time with your partner?

Understating the emotional needs of you and your partner is crucial, as it’s the form of love that you need to feel satisfied.

In what ways would you rather communicate, and how would you like your partner to communicate with you? Think about what kind of person you are conversing with and what level of trust and transparency you feel is appropriate.

What kind of communication do you prefer, mentioned in the table, is an honest and clear message or a sugar-coated one?

It’s important to decide whether you’re ready to have a romantic partner and discuss important issues with her.

Communication preferences make up a large percentage of what do you want out of a relationship. It’s not only crucial for day-to-day, but it’s also useful for managing conflicts with your partner.

Understanding the best way to communicate with your partner, will enable effective communication and strengthen the bond between you two.

You must see the qualities in yourself that may affect relational patterns in some way. Think about yourself and your strengths, your disadvantages, and any opportunity for self-change.

• Are you an introvert who must spend hours alone?
• Are you an extrovert who gets energized each time you interact with other people
• Are you easily irritated and need a partner with a lot of patience?
• Are you one of those people who do not get angry easily whenever there is a disagreement?

By knowing more specific facets of yourself and your personality, you can easily find the kind of person and relationship that can fulfill those aspects.

Spend some time in your diary or with a close friend to ponder these questions and their responses.

By evaluating your past and present relationships from the outsiders’ perspective, you learn many beneficial things to find what do you want out of a relationship.

Self-reflection is very important here; one must be willing to face the fact of realizing that what one once wanted in one’s previous relationships might change or have already changed.

It is also significant to realize that past experiences do not expressly control the current desire. The fact that you saw one kind of dynamic in your family or a certain pattern in previous relationships does not mean you are going to be automatically drawn to the same thing.

With the right approach and mindfulness, you can come out of negative patterns and build the desired relationship.

Now that you are more knowledgeable about yourself, it is possible to come up with deal breakers that a potential partner cannot have for the relationship to be viable. What do you want out of a relationship:

Some base their decisions on moral grounds or religious aspects of life; if that is the case, the partner must have similar values as you. This could mean services of the same religious affiliation, advocacy for the same principle, like human rights, or conservation of the environment.

If you are health conscience and into fitness, it is essential to understand and know what you need in a partner.

For instance, if you are an introvert and love staying home most of the time, you are likely to quarrel with your partner if the latter is an extrovert.

Some of these may be rather trivial; however, it is quite meaningful to specify exactly what you expect from your partner and vice versa.

You deserve a relationship in which you both respect each other’s opinions, have separate spaces that are off-limits for the other partner, and are self-sufficient.

If you require regular reassurance and affection, it will not be easy to deal with a cold and insensitive spouse.

Search for the kind of person who is ready to discuss everything, discuss your emotions and requirements, and face all the problems together.

One does not necessarily have to have matching ideas on life, but it is pertinent that there should be harmony in terms of visions for the future. If one is certain about desiring children and the other does not want children OR one wants to relocate for work across the country and the other wants to stay put, those fundamental differences in goals and dreams will likely cause major strife.

Everyone has his or her deal-breakers, and knowing what these are will help you know when it is time to let go or when the person you are dating is compatible with what do you want out of a relationship.

Never try to force yourself into a relationship you do not want and don’t need; it’s unhealthy to be in a relationship simply because you are lonely.

That is why it is necessary to distinguish between matters of value priority and indifference. As much as it is beneficial to have personal specifications of the kind of partner you would like, it is always disadvantageous to be picky about it.

Remember that the woman you are dreaming of may not be the woman of your dreams; open your mind to the possibility that she may be just the best for you.

It is crucial to think about the particular relational qualities that would be most beneficial and satisfying for you to encounter. Ask yourself what do you want out of a relationship:

What kind and how much closeness and affection do you wish for in a relationship?

Are you the type of person who is all about hand-holding and constant reassurance of affection, or do you just want to have a partner you can spend your days with?

What degree of independence and privacy are required in the relationship?

Are you a self-sufficing person who needs separate space to read a book, watch a film, or perform other favorite activities, or are you an interpersonal-dependent person who needs to dedicate much time to your partner?

How would you envision the typical day-to-day interaction with your potential partner?

There are two contrasting pictures of a relationship, one which includes constant excitement and moments of passion and the other which portrays a very comfortable, non-surprising mode of life. Do you plan your life with your partner in detail and like to go out with your partner to every place, or do you also have different interests and groups of friends?

How do you both plan to handle conflicts and challenges in your relationship?

Are you looking for an individual who is not afraid to stick her neck out for a solution to a problem or someone who prefers not to ruffle feathers? How crucial is it for you to have a partner willing to argue and find a compromise that fits both needs and wants?

By illustrating what do you want out of a relationship, the parties are more likely to find a common language and build a partnership that would suit both.

This means that the language should be very specific while at the same time dreaming big dreams. It is also essential to remember that no couple is free from disagreement, and the borders of the constructed plan may also change over the years for a couple.

Do not be surprised if you find that your wants and needs while in this period change from what you had before. It is okay for a lady to want a man who is faithful and can take care of her, but the kind of man she seeks at 25 may not be the same man she seeks at 35 or 45.

Accept that life changes and experiences alter people’s preferences and acceptance and should be prepared to change their feelings towards relationships.

This does not mean that one should ‘settle’ for what is available in the present and enter into an unsatisfactory relationship. Still, one should go into relationships with flexibility and the understanding that they may take time to blossom.

You must discuss your requirements and expectations more frequently and develop and strengthen your relationship with your partner to help you receive the support you want and need.

It is also crucial to note that change is essential in a relationship in connection with growth, which might even end the relationship’s status. If you understand that your needs and goals are not being met with your current life partner, it is time to find a way to address the issue and change the situation.

Try to understand that breaking off a relationship that is not healthy or beneficial is not a failure but due to maturity and growth.

If you have doubts about the partner’s choice or want to strengthen the relationship, it is useful to create a vision board or journal about the desired partnership. Divide it into sections such as:

What must your partner be like? List down the basic qualities and principles your mate must have. They might be values such as integrity, compassion, and empathy or core skills and attributes such as punctuality.

What specific traits/characteristics/interests do you consider as ‘sexy’ and fun in the object of your affection? It could be a humorous view of life, the desire for adventure, or any other social interests one holds dear.

If you had the chance to choose your ideal partner, would your dream relationship already be constructed, and how is it in practice? It could be things like waking up with one another daily, going out on specific weekly days as couple goals, or being consistently honest with each other and solving all the issues that arise.

What are the long-term goals and hopes that you and your partner care to achieve? They could be raising children, investing in a business or company, or even exploring the world after they retire early.

This vision board should be consulted when one is out in the dating scene or back into a relationship and struggling to know what do you want out of a relationship.

It is important to remember that the vision board is not a one-time project set in stone; it is dynamic and should be altered as personal requirements and goals change.

It is important to remember that finding what do you want out of a relationship is a journey to personal exploration, asking questions, and embracing change.

Reflecting on past relationships, establishing a list of non-negotiables, and envisioning relationship dynamics, help one better understand one’s wants and needs.

Never forget that it is not about looking for a perfect person or love. This road is about becoming ideally equipped to choose your life companion. During this process, we should develop a deeper understanding of ourselves as individuals and as members of society.

Embrace the process, turn up the volume on self-compass, and keep your mind and heart open to all that can unfold when purposefully navigating love and connection.

Do not rush things, but invest time and energy in introspection, in realizing what you desire and require. Again, have faith that the right person is out there, waiting.