Dating With Best Friend? 12 Things You Need To Know
The line between friendship and romance becomes blurry when a close bond exists between two friends, and the relationship has flourished for a long time.
This close friendship doesn’t take time to blossom into a crush, and one of the two finds themselves falling for their best friend.
Such an experience is frequently observed among people as the foundation of trust, compatibility, and shared history can create a strong basis for a romantic relationship.
Transitioning from friendship to dating isn’t as easy as it seems, however. It comes with challenges and risks, such as friendship loss, awkward situations, and high expectations.
This article will analyze the advantages and disadvantages of dating with best friend, provide practical recommendations, and explore the peculiarities of this relationship.
The Benefits of Dating With Best Friend
Dating with best friend can be much easier than starting a relationship with someone new for some. Below are a few benefits you get when dating with best friend:
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A strong foundation of friendship
Choosing your best friend for a relationship means you build upon a pre-existing foundation of friendship, understanding, and experiences you share.
You already understand each other’s personalities, quirks, and communication styles, making a romantic relationship easier. Your history and the deep trust between you create a sense of safety and stability in the relationship.
Dating With Best Friend #2
Best friends share similar values, interests, and life goals; this means compatibility between the couple isn’t an issue.
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Emotional intimacy and vulnerability
Dating your friend means you will have deeper emotional intimacy and vulnerability than you might experience with someone new. It also feels natural to open up to them as you already have a history together.
The Troubles of Dating With Best Friend
While dating with best friend seems tempting, it has some downsides. The risks can be a lot to handle for some, so we recommend learning the risks before you take the plunge. Let’s take a look at a few of such risks:
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The risk of losing the friendship
The primary downside of this relationship is that two people become romantically involved and when the relationship does not prosper, then the friendship is over as well.
The problem with the break up is that it is almost impossible to restart the friendship as before and if there were mixed feelings and bitterness, then it can even be terrible.
This further can be very painful especially if you were close friends or were friends for so many years.
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Awkwardness and changed dynamics
Another area of tension is when friends become lovers because the shift from being just friends to becoming a couple brings new issues.
You may find it difficult to accept new roles and responsibilities, which include touching or being touched, isolation, and opening up emotionally.
You may also find that your ways of communicating or handling conflicts must change for you to be in a romantic relationship.
Dating With Best Friend #6
Unmet expectations and disappointment
Since expectations are often high for friends, another danger of dating your best friend is that feeling of disappointment.
In this case, you can be developing tremendous expectations of the romance because you both are close friends and have had good things to share in the past.
However, some things that you didn’t find uncomfortable as friends may become an issue when the two of you are specifically dating.
If the relationship you have built doesn’t turn out the way you want it to, then it will hurt and disappoint you even more.
Transition from Friendship to Romance
If you’re considering dating with best friend, there are several strategies you can use to navigate the transition and increase your chances of success:
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Communicate openly and honestly
It is crucial to avoid secrecy when shifting from friendship to romance. Express exactly how you feel, what you want in the friendship, and what your expectations are, and ensure that your friend does the same.
Disregard any particular disadvantages and possible social costs, like a break in a friendship or losing friends, and come up with a simple strategy to cope with them.
Ensure you both understand what each of you requires and expects in the relationship you are in.
Dating With Best Friend #8
Take things slowly
The passion of a best friend turning into a lover may be attractive, mostly due to the feelings that the two of you have had for each other for some time.
But it is suggested that it is better to avoid those common problems by going slow and letting the two of you grow into this kind of relationship slowly.
It is recommended to start with low-pressure dates and gradually increase physical intimacy and emotional vulnerability as you both feel comfortable.
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Set boundaries and expectations
It means that you should set quite strict rules and requirements concerning the changed status and nature of the romantic relationship with your best friend.
Explain concerns that pertain to the nature of the group, such as exclusivity, privacy, and any other matters regarding disagreement.
Think on the same level as everyone else and try to accommodate and negotiate with one another to the best of your ability. But do not forget that you are a new couple and you are equally struggling in this new setting.
Dating With Best Friend #10
Maintain individual identities and interests
It would be strange not to have your friends, hobbies, or work when you are dating someone you like, but it should not occupy all your free time.
Maintain individuality, have your interests, friends, and passions in life, and expect the same from your partner.
Pure love frees one from being co-dependent on the other person and having a separate hour identity can also reduce one’s insecurity.
Dating With Best Friend #11
Be prepared for challenges and setbacks
Dating your best friend doesn’t mean the relationship is free of issues or that the couple has a rosy life.
Of course, it is not limited to a romantic partnership alone because as you proceed in life, both of you are bound to have trials, arguments, and failures at one point.
Remember, these issues should be worked through with your partner with much understanding, willingness, and even readiness to change or compromise. Bear in mind that a problem is always a chance for your relations to develop and become deeper.
Conclusion
It could be interesting and rather satisfying to date with best friend. After all, you know her for who she is and her habits, which is a good factor because you do not need to waste time getting to know your partner.
But it offers several difficulties and threats, among which it is possible to lose a friend, experience discomfort, or have certain expectations unmet.
Deciding whether or not to start dating with best friend is a reasonable choice that should be made after sufficient thinking.
One should then ask several questions, for instance, whether it is worth it, whether one is ready emotionally for a committed relationship, and whether or not one is willing to work on the relationship to make it healthy.
So, if you do decide to go for it – be prepared to do it with patience, empathy, and the knowledge that a good relationship is more than just a casual fling, and you are out to spend a great deal of time, effort, and work creating something valuable.
In the same way, dating with best friend is a beautiful thing that may transform your friendship into something completely different.
FAQs – Dating With Best Friend
How do I know if my best friend has romantic feelings for me?
This depends on the sort of relationship your best friend has with you, these would include; escalating levels of physical affection, her becoming flirtatious, jealousy when you mention other love interests, and her wanting to spend one-on-one time with you.
But the ultimate way – to find out that for sure is by talking it over and letting the other person know how you feel and what you expect.
What if I start dating my best friend, and it doesn’t work out?
The potential of finally derailing the friendship you have with your best friend is one of the biggest drawbacks of dating them.
To prevent such a risk, it is necessary to discuss the expectations and rules of behavior, as well as to progress gradually because of the significant changes in the relationship.
When the relationship does end, it is important to try to be as mature and understanding as possible and attempt to salvage the friendship if at all possible.
Allow each other time to recover and for the process to sink in, and consider involving a third party such as a counselor.
How do I handle the reactions of our mutual friends and family?
Of course, people usually do not take kindly to the idea of their friend dating their best friend – other friends and even families may have some reactions and opinions regarding this.
Some of the respondents will be receptive and might positively welcome the idea while others will frown or even question the idea.
Be sure to discuss these matters with your partners, and come up with ready answers to respond to questions and concerns from your mutual friends and family.
What if we have different expectations or goals for the relationship?
Like in any other romantic relationship, it may be possible that both of you may have different dreams or directions in life.
I believe misunderstandings may lead to confusion, disappointments, and possibly separation hence the need to be open with each other on what one wants, needs, and plans in life.
It is meaningful for the two of you to be willing to accept compromises being made with each other’s understanding.
Sometimes, you may find out that you have different expectations; which are non-negotiables for you, and it might be better to end the relationship early.
How can the partners remain unique and independent individuals while being in a relationship?
Keeping personal identities and roles is healthy for any couple, but even more critical when two people are dating their best friend.
To ensure that the two of you do not become codependent, have willfully seek to engage in personal activities such as work, hobbies, and friendship outside work or the relationship.
Assisting the other partner’s development and progress is critical, but one should also be ready to say ‘no’ in certain instances to protect their interests.
This will help both of you create a healthy and strong relationship where the two of you are constantly growing as individuals.