According to Sources, “Friendzone” is a relatively new word.
That only became popular in the last decade. But who is to say they have never heard of it before?
Or worse, to experience being Friendzoned by the girl they fancy.
A phenomenon where you are being cast into a friendship.
Where you are handed all the responsibilities of being a boyfriend. But comes with zero romantic attachment.
Referred to as one-sided love, crush, or just friends.
We as guys are all too familiar with this term. We hate it, we dread it, but there’s no way to get out of it.
Or is there… how exactly do you get out of the friendzone?
You need to change your conservative approach. Trying to be “friends first” just shows fear and insecurity. Don’t be always available, as she’ll take you for granted. Make her understand the value of your time and effort to get out of the Friendzone.
Here are actionable measures you can take to get out of the friendzone.
Break the cycle and get her to see you more than just a friend.
But first, let’s understand what exactly defines the friendzone.
Understanding The Friendzone
Before trying to get out of the friendzone, you need to first understand what the friendzone really is.
Basically, it’s when you have a crush on this girl and is trying to win her heart.
But when you want to take the relationship to the next level, the girl only sees you as a friend.
You are in her life because it brings her comfort as a friend.
But she will never see you as a romantic interest.
That’s what the friendzone is all about. As a friend, you can be very close to her.
Comfortable enough to share the details of her life – including her romantic interests.
But she will never direct that interest towards you.
In her eyes, you are the guy she adores and loves but only as a friend.
No matter what you do, how hard you try, you can’t change the image of being just a friend.
The friendzone is dreaded because it puts you in a constant state of confusion.
You do not know if you should settle and accept being her friend.
Or to tell her how you feel but risk losing her.
Signs You Are In The Friendzone
Here are the most common signs to look out for to determine if you are in the friendzone.
Be sure to read and thoroughly understand it.
So you will be able to pick up the first signs of it happening!
1. You Are Her Emotional Cushion
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry and a companion to celebrate good times.
Now take a step back to think about your situation with her.
Are you doing these things for her and perhaps even more?
Are you always available to share her emotional ups and downs?
While she is not returning with the same treatment?
Being there for a friend is a sign of reliability.
But it’s unhealthy if she’s expecting you to provide her the emotional support of a boyfriend.
And she does not treat you with the due respect of a lover.
Does she simply assume that she can come to you with all her problems?
But refuses to entertain the idea of you wanting something more?
When this happens, it’s a clear Friendzone signal from her side.
Here are the 5 signs that a girl will show when she’s leading you on.
2. Nonexistent sexual tension
She’ll cuddle you, hug you or even give a friendly kiss from time to time.
But there is no sexual undertone to all these actions.
I’m sorry to say but often a person in friendzone gets treated more like a pet than a friend.
It can also be the case where she refrains from any physical touch at all.
When you try to hold her hands or put your arms around her, she would feel uncomfortable & move away.
This goes to show that despite having emotional closeness, she’s not willing to get physically intimate.
The reason is simple… she only considers you as a friend.
3. Continued Reference As Her Friend
Ever been together in a setting where you thought you were on a date?
But she does not hesitate to introduce you as “my friend” (emphasis on the friend).
Or if someone ever mistook you as a couple, she’ll retort the comment and completely dismiss the idea?
You might often hear her say “I wish I could find a nice guy like you”.
But she will never regard you as the guy to be her potential lover.
This is another clear sign that she does not regard you as anything more.
4. Lack Of Eagerness In Replies
Regardless of what anyone says, a friend will always have less priority than a lover.
This is even more true when it comes to girls, as they tend to be more emotional than men.
Girls do not reply to a friend’s text as promptly as they would reply to a boyfriend’s text.
When she considers you her friend, there will be no eagerness in her response.
Hence she might take longer to reply to your texts.
On the other hand, you make sure to reply to her the minute she texts you because you like her.
The result? Your reply is seen but only get to hear from her after waiting a few hours or even days.
You like this girl and wanted to use your friendship as the first stepping stone.
But all the signs point towards the reality that you are stuck in the friendzone.
But don’t lose hope just yet!
While it can be challenging to change this, it is not impossible.
How To Get Out Of The Friendzone
You have assessed the situation and found yourself in the friendzone.
So how do you get out of the friendzone?
To shift her mindset of seeing you as a friend, to become a potential lover.
1. Change Your Mindset
Changing your mindset is the first step you need to take to escape the friendzone.
So what does it mean?
Such thoughts might have crossed your mind, whenever you think of making your move:
- She only sees me as a friend, I’ve no chance
- What if she does not talk to me anymore
- Another guy confessed to her, she’s so popular
Of course, these are many more examples.
In general, you are hesitant to make the move because of your reservation.
If you want to see her as someone more than just friends, it’s high time to change your mindset.
After all, how can you win her heart when you’re accepting the loss even before you made a move?
When you entertain such negative thoughts, they will be reflected in your actions.
You’ll think through every text, contemplate every action.
The result? You’ll realize you’re not able to be yourself whenever she’s there.
Your interaction with her becomes forced and awkward.
Ask yourself this… How exactly will you attract her, when you’re not showing your true self.
“There’s no such thing as the friendzone, your actions are what landed you there”
– Gene Young
2. Stop Buying Insurance For Rejection
“The best relationships start as friends.”
A popular saying that I believe everyone has heard before.
While it’s true to a certain extent, you should NOT take this concept and apply it every time.
With such a mentality, you’ll be focused on being a caring, dutiful, and tender friend to the girl.
Patiently waiting for your chance, while harboring feelings deep inside.
You’re actively sabotaging yourself and destroying all chances with her.
Think about it… If you’re trying your best to be her friend, can you really be shocked that she’s treating you as such?
So what’s the real reason you want to first see her as a friend?
It’s the fear of rejection that’s compelling you to do such a thing.
“What if she does not want to talk to me? What if she turns me down? What if she no longer wants to be friends?”
The fear and desperation have driven you to seek out protection; insurance if she rejects you.
Rather than create an intimate connection, you give in to vulnerability and choose to play the safe card.
“If anything goes wrong, at least I can still be her friend; and see her”
That’s what you use to justify your inaction.
Once you get used to playing it safe, you’ll NEVER be able to step out of the friendzone.
It becomes destructive as you don’t even dare to confront your own feelings!
3. Make Your Time Scarce
Keep your schedule busy and spend time away from her.
When you’re in the friendzone, she’s dependent on you for companionship.
You will get nowhere if you maintain the status quo. Create a distance and start to make yourself scarce.
If you mean something to her, she’ll start to notice your absence.
The whole point is to make her realize your value.
“Only when you’re no longer present, will your absence be felt”
– Gene Young
When you’re no longer around; only then will she feel something missing in her life.
It’ll increase the chances of her desiring you, and change her mindset about you.
If she doesn’t even care for your absence, it might be better to move on from her.
What’s the point of giving your all to someone who barely even appreciates you?
4. Show Your Romantic Interest
If you don’t show romantic interest, the girl will never know your feelings.
To achieve that, you need to know how to flirt the right way.
To show her that you want to deepen the connection.
This is critical when it comes to getting yourself out of the friendzone.
Don’t let your reservations stop you, treat it as a do-or-die situation.
Here are some key points on how to flirt with a girl:
- Keep it light and fun
Don’t go into serious topics too often.
Make it a point to keep your interaction with her light, and fun.
Let her feel that when with you, it’s stress-free, light-hearted and she can be at ease.
Make the conversation endearing and she’ll look forward to your interactions.
- Use casual touch to your advantage
A well-executed touch is the most powerful signal of interest.
Casually get close and brush against her arm or shoulder.
Placing your hand on her back to guard her when crossing the road.
It’s an act of masculinity and deepens intimacy.
Casual touch is difficult to get right, but when you get the hang of it; it makes the most impact.
- Make eye contact
The eyes are the window to her soul.
Gaze into her eyes when you’re having a conversation with her.
Let her know that your full attention is on her.
Maintaining eye contact also has the added benefit of ramping up intimacy.
5. Get the girl to invest more
It’s not right to expect anything in return when you’re giving.
But has the girl been appreciating your selfless actions?
If you’re in the friendzone, I would guess not.
The reason is simple. She does not have to invest anything for your care and concern.
To the extent that she’s taken it for granted. Get her to invest more in your interactions.
Don’t demand but make her put in effort when you’re doing something for her.
Start small; get her to hold some items as your hands are full, ask her to pass you something.
Small gestures like these might seem insignificant.
But when someone puts in more effort, it’ll have a subconscious effect on the mind.
It’ll give a signal that you fancy the individual.
After all, you wouldn’t put in effort for someone you don’t fancy.
Check out these 3 step processes to attract a girl who doesn’t like you.
How To Avoid Being Friendzoned
As the saying goes: “Prevention is better than cure”.
It is much easier to prevent being friendzoned than to get out of it.
The fact is, most guys place themselves in the friendzone due to their actions and attitude.
To avoid the friendzone, first, identify what placed you there in the first place.
Actively put in the effort to avoid doing them, and get your potential crush to see you from a different perspective.
Let’s look at what you can do, to avoid being friendzoned.
Understand it well, and your crush will view you as a potential lover from day one.
Stop The “First be friends” Mentality
How often do you hear a guy saying, “Let me first be her friend, and I’ll wait for the right time.”
While friendship might be the first step towards finding love.
It can also be the last step for your to-be relationship if not established correctly.
The whole point of being friends first is to know the girl better.
But if you don’t communicate your interest, how would she know?
Men and women work differently. If you are to treat her as a friend, she will do the same.
Do not even think for a second that she will magically fall for you.
When all you’ve been trying to do is to be a good friend to her,
People might call it “getting to know her better”
But the reality is… the guy is afraid to express his interest.
He’s worried that by making it known, the girl will avoid him. And he won’t have a shot with her in the future.
Even if you are to try and fail, the girl will still respect your guts. And there’s no regret of not trying.
But if you go with the pretext of a guy friend, more often than not, you won’t even be considered.
Stop Being “Too Nice”
Yes, there is such a thing as being too nice to girls. I’m sure you’ve heard of it before.
“Sorry, I can’t be with you. You’re too nice.”
So how the heck does one being too nice gets you rejected?
It is when you are a YES man who agrees with everything she says.
When you don’t counter any argument she brings forth because you’re worried you might upset her.
It is when you bend over backward for her.
To the extent that you don’t even take a stand for what you believe in.
These are just some references but being “Too Nice” brings more harm than good.
It hurts the relationship dynamics and destroys any self-confidence that you might have.
No girl wants to be with a guy who doesn’t have his own set of rules.
Being too nice can leave a negative impression and she’ll regard you as weak.
This is not to say you should be a total jerk.
You SHOULD always be a gentleman and uphold chivalry.
Stand by what you believe in, and don’t let the appearance of anyone or any girl change that fact.
Be a gentleman, be a good man. BUT don’t be the nice guy… it’s not worth it.
Stop Being Always Available
This is in line with being too nice and bending backward for the girl.
Do you find yourself always being available for her?
This means that the minute she says she needs your help… You’ll drop everything and rush to her aid.
This is not to say you should not help someone if you can.
But what if you’re caught up in something urgent?
What if you had an important gathering to attend? Do you still drop it for her?
I know guys, that will make themselves available and drop everything.
Regardless of how important it is, just because the girl called for his help.
Be it running some errands or needing help to purchase something.
She can always turn to you for assistance.
You do it so often that it has become her second nature to summon you.
The minute she meets anything that inconveniences her.
If that is you, you need to stop right away. Stop being always available for her!
Being there for her isn’t a bad thing, that is true.
But when you do it too much; it will lead her to take you for granted.
“Anything, regardless of how great it is; loses its value when it becomes a commodity.”
– Gene Young
Being always available, she will never realize the value of having you by her side.
She will treat your care and concern as a given.
And it goes without saying that she will NEVER think of you as her boyfriend.
After all, why does she need to? When you’re already there for her all the time.
Knowing your priorities becomes VERY important. Be there for her when you can.
But it is equally important for you to learn to turn her down.
After all, you are the one who’s responsible for your own life.
More Dating Tips & Tricks To Get The Girl
Getting the girl to fall for you can be straightforward, but there are a lot of things you need to get right. Use these articles to further up your dating game:
- Escape the Friendzone and make her want a relationship.
- If all else fails, here are tips to get her off your mind.
- Turn it around and make the girl want you.
To sum it up
Friendzone happens because the guy did not express his romantic interest early on.
Prevention is always better than cure.
The best way is to never place yourself in that predicament from the get-go.
Once a girl formed that opinion of you, it’s very hard to overturn that impression.
But if you’re already facing such a predicament.
Know that it is POSSIBLE to break out of this cycle,
Do not give up, and press on.
Rather than get sad over it, accept it and work on countermeasures.
Understand the circumstances and use these tips to overcome the sticky situation.
So there you have it! Our complete guide on how to get out of the friendzone.
Respect your own time and set boundaries so she doesn’t take you for granted.
She will only respect you when you respect yourself.
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