How To Get a Girl To Text You First – 4 Insane Tips

So, you meet a lovely girl and gather the courage and strike up a conversation.

She responds well and you end up exchanging numbers.

A few days and weeks go by and you’re still texting each other frequently.

But then you realize: “Wait, why is it always me who texts her first?”

But rather, she never texts first?

Have you ever wondered how can you get a girl to text you first?

Research suggests that compared to men, women prefer and more frequently use text messaging, social media, and online video calls.

But there is still a mentality for women to feel reserved when initiating to text a guy.

Surely there’s some way around it to get the girl to text you first…

How To Get a Girl To Text You First

Have a proper conversation to ascertain her interest. Plant the thought for the girl to text you first before parting ways, so the initiative is on her end. Incorporate cliffhangers into the conversation to make her curious and it will urge the girl to text you first.

Let’s have a deeper look at how you can make your crush leave her inhibitions.

Make her pick up the phone, and get the girl to text you first.

Why Girls Tend To Not Text First


Studies have shown that similar to in-person dating, online dating is highly influenced by gender stereotypes.

It claims that men are more assertive in a relationship.

Hence women often feel shy and expect men to approach them first.

It is a social stigma that women are taught to play hard to get.

If they don’t, they are tagged as easy or desperate.

You might even notice that she never initiates text but always responds quickly to your messages.

And it is exactly this social stigma that discourages the girl to text you first even if she wishes to.

Why It Matters For The Girl To Text You First

Communication is the most important part of any relationship.

Especially in a romantic relationship, where we express our care and concern for each other.

It is completely fine if you want to be the one to reach out to her proactively.

But if this is the norm, then it can be a cause for concern.

If the girl only waits for your text, it might indicate that she’s lacking in interest.

Or she does not feel the same level of commitment in the relationship.

On the other hand, what does it mean for a girl to text you first?

If she does that, it shows that she’s committed to building a connection with you.

And looking forward to hearing about what you’ve been up to.

Of course, you can’t expect her to initiate, and every girl to text you first.

A balance when it comes to who’s initiating the conversation is very important.

Online dating is not restricted to getting the girl to text you first.

Don’t forget Facebook / Instagram which revolutionized how we connect with potential dates.

Set Up To Get a Girl To Text You First


I will have to first make it clear for you.

To get the girl to text you first, that is possible.

But it’s not feasible if you just went up to her and asked for her number.

You can’t possibly go straight to her and expect the girl to text you first.

Instead, you need to make sure you hold a proper conversation when you approach her.

Learn about the 5 steps you can use to approach a girl in every setting.

You need to have a conversation with her to gauge her interest in talking to you.

What you want is to develop a mutual attraction between you and her.

She must be genuinely interested in you.

So that there’s even a chance she’ll initiate and for the girl to text you first.

If not, you will just end up waiting endlessly.

4 Tips To Get Her To Text You First

Let’s talk about some tips you can use right away for your next interaction.

To greatly increase your chances of getting her to text you first!

1. Plant The Thought For Her To Text You 

So you’ve approached her and struck up a conversation.

Just before you leave, casually mention to her, “Text me your name”.

What you’re doing is giving her a subtle cue to take action.

You’re subconsciously telling her: “You need to put in some effort to strike up this connection.”

This will put the ball in her court and she must make the next move by texting you first.

It does not necessarily have to be in this context.

Throughout your conversation, you may pick up certain clues and use them to your advantage.

The whole point is to be flexible.

At the end of your meeting, you may even say:

“Hey, text me the name of that book/article/movie/café/restaurant that you were mentioning.”

The options are practically endless.

It depends on how you want to draw a relation to the conversation topic that you were having.

The basic idea is to give her a subtle command to text you, so she knows the initiative is on her end.

So that she will not be waiting around for your text.

2. End The Conversation With Cliffhangers


Cliffhangers can be an ingenious hook to get her committed to the conversation.

Use it to your advantage to make her want to text you first to carry the conversation further.

The best part about cliffhangers is that the other party does not even realize they have been led to keep the conversation going.

Incorporate cliffhangers into any conversation topic that you’re having.

The key is to tell her an interesting story but leave out the most crucial parts.

Some examples can be: “How you got your first job without having any prior experience by just doing this one little step.”

Or something you ate on a trip last month, that you never knew was edible.

These stories have a common point, and that is they are shrouded in mystery.

This will make her curious to know more, and it is this curiosity that will urge her to text you first.

Initially, it might need some practice to get it right.

But once you master it, you will never have to worry about making the girl craving for more.

3. Wait It Out Before Making Contact Again


You’ve had a great conversation, got her number and you can’t wait to see her again.

So what should you do at this point? Have some patience!

On the contrary to doing something out of desperation, wait patiently for her to text you first.

This might sound ridiculous, but there is a good reason for this.

If you are to text her right away, there is no chance for her to think about you.

She will carry on with her busy schedule throughout the day, and you won’t even be on her mind.

By texting prematurely, you are portraying yourself as someone desperate for her attention.

Restrain yourself from making any contact right away, and get busy with your activities.

Wait till the evening or when you’re free, and only then consider dropping her a text.

And it’s also around that time when she’ll be less busy.

Give her some time to think about your interaction, and let her start wondering why you’ve not texted her.

Be patient, and who knows? She’ll be the one to cave in and text you first!

4. Give Her a Call


A text is good, but a call is even better!

When you get her number, don’t be afraid to dial her up and have a conversation over the phone.

Give yourself a legitimate reason to justify your call and build up the connection from the last interaction.

Ideally, she will pick up your call and you two will be able to have a nice but unexpected chat.

But if she does not pick up, she’ll do one of two things.

One, give you a callback and you’ll know you made a lasting impression.

Two, she’ll drop you a text to ask about the call.

It is not as ideal but at least she made the effort to reach out to you.

And then, it’s up to you to take it from there.

If she did not bother to contact you, you need to evaluate whether something is wrong and if she’s even worth the effort.

5 More Tips On How To Get a Girl To Text You First

5. Make it a point to be mysterious

This is one of the ways to make her text you first, and there is no better way of doing this than to make yourself mysterious.

While interacting with the opposite sex do not tell them everything about your life, keep some things to your own.

You can share fascinating parts of your day or any other experience you have had, but ensure that you do not reveal too much detail so that she will be compelled to ask you more.

This curiosity will make her initiate the conversation first because she desires to know more.

6. Leverage Positive Reinforcement

If she does take the initiative and starts to contact you, be sure to always sound interested and enthusiastic when replying.

This positive reinforcement will encourage her to text you first more often.

Show genuine appreciation for her effort by engaging deeply in the following conversation.

This assures her that it is okay for her to be the one to text first, which is crucial to getting her to text first consistently.

7. Utilize Mutual Interests

While talking to her, pay close attention to any topics or issues that interest her.

Then, use these interests as a reason for her to text you first.

For example, if she has a liking for a certain band and there is a new album released, she will be reminded of your shared interest when she hears about it.

Saying you’d like to hear her thoughts on it next time could make her inclined to message you when the album is out.

8. Subtly Challenge Her

A little playful challenge can go a long way to get her to text first.

For instance, if the last time you spoke, you both mentioned a specific type of food that you’ve never eaten but both wanted to, challenge her like this,

“Hey, let me know if you go to that new Mexican restaurant before I do!”

This kind of competition may encourage her to text you to share her experience or to say that she went there before you did.

9. Be Patient and Reduce Frequency Gradually

Another approach is to be patient and try to reduce the frequency gradually but consistently.

If you are always the one to message first, start scaling this down by reducing how often you do it.

Space your conversations to create some time and distance in which she might get curious about you and perhaps initiate contact.

Here, it is best to wait; let her realize that she misses talking to you and would want to be the one to initiate contact.

More Online Dating Tips To Get The Girl

Online Dating is a wholly different playing field from traditional dates. Use these articles to further up your online dating skills and secure your date:

To Sum It Up 

Communication goes both ways.

If someone is interested in you, they would want to know about you and talk to you.

In a healthy relationship, both parties will want to share thoughts and ideas.

If your potential crush does not even put in the slightest effort, it could mean they are not as committed as you might think.

This SHOULD be a big red flag for you.

Know that there can be multiple reasons why a girl would hold herself back.

You need to evaluate it based on your insight.

So there you have it! Our tips on how to get a girl to text you first.

By practicing these strategies, you are not only likely to get her to text you first but also foster a more balanced dynamic where both parties feel equally engaged and invested.

However, do remember that every person and couple is different and it is vital to use these tips as guidelines.

Not only for the girl to text you first but also to incorporate them into your conversations in a way that feels most comfortable.

If you are willing to put in the time for some effort, you will discover that encouraging her to make the first move can lead to more rewarding conversations.

It might take time, but once a girl texts you first, it’s a clear sign that she is interested.

By then, the path to get her attracted to you will be much smoother.

Happy texting!

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