Technology has become a game-changer for dating and relationships.
A survey suggests that 3 out of 10 Americans say that they have used online dating websites or apps.
Out of which 12% got married or committed to the person they met online.
Online dating, at one point, was considered taboo.
But has now become mainstream for people to meet their significant other.
However, there’s one thing that’s constant.
To build the relationship, you need to ask her out.
So the question is: When online dating, how to ask her out on a date?
It starts with the conversation. Chat with the intent of setting up a date. And steer the conversation in the right direction. Strike when the interaction is fresh, and make sure to ask her out within 1-2 weeks.
We will cover how to engage and ask her out when you’re online dating.
Problem with Online Dating Conversations
When dating, you need to effectively communicate your interest to the girl.
By observing her body language, eye contact, and overall mannerisms.
You can gauge if the conversation is going well and steer it in the right direction.
However, in online dating, you don’t have this advantage of observation.
You need to be able to gauge her interest based on her written text.
Which happens to not contain any undertone or emotion.
What you’re basically doing is to send a text and pray.
Pray that the girl on the receiving end replies and is equally interested.
Online dating has its own set of challenges from traditional dating.
But it does not mean everything has to be left to chance.
This article covers all the important points you need to know.
On how to effectively engage and ask the girl out when online dating.
Online Dating – From Conversation to a Date
The opener can be considered most important when it comes to online dating.
It helps you set the stage to warm up the girl before the actual date.
But at the same time, how do you talk to someone who you barely know?
Fact that you’re having the conversation online makes it that much harder.
You’ve never met her and have no clue about her personality.
Without knowing her in person, you might find yourself at a loss for topics.
You can’t think of anything to effectively engage and pique her interest.
Here are the key points you need to remember when you’re online dating.
1. Keep the Conversation Light
It is common for girls to be receiving a ton of messages.
From guys every single day – guys that are interested and want to hit on her.
This is even more true when it comes to online dating.
There’s practically no limit to texts she’ll receive.
When she’s within the confines of the online dating platform.
In most cases, the girl will have to conserve her energy.
And only respond to messages that really caught her attention.
For the remaining messages… they’re never heard from after sending it out.
So you can tell, it’s crucial to get her attention right from the first text.
Your message needs to stand out from the rest and MAKE her want to reply.
So how do you do it?
Make it a point to keep your online conversation light and fun!
Steer clear of heavy topics such as work or religion.
These topics, albeit important, are the definition of seriousness.
In addition, it can become personal and you might accidentally offend her.
Chat about interesting topics and focus on capturing her attention.
At the same time, you should not be assertive by over texting her.
Don’t craft unnecessarily long texts and go straight to the point!
A good rule of thumb is 1-2 sentences per message.
Anything more for the first text, and you might throw her off.
Just send your message over and give her time to reply.
2. Chat With The Intent of Setting a Date
If you’re chatting and keeping her engaged, you’ve passed the first hurdle.
But ask yourself this… what is the goal of getting to know her.
Is it to find yourself a texting buddy, or to meet her in person?
For any online conversation, you should place focus on the final objective.
The objective, in this case, is to go on a real date with the girl.
All your actions and steps you take should be tailored to drive the interaction offline.
She might be engaged by your conversation, and has shown interest in you.
But if you do not take things to the next level, it’ll quickly fizzle out.
Stick to these 7 rules to keep her engaged through text.
From the first few interactions, leave subtle hints about the possibility of an in-person date.
For instance, talk about your favorite restaurant in town and mention that you’ll like to bring her to visit the place.
Or mention a big event that’s coming up, and let her know you’re keen to bring her along.
What you’re doing is to plant the idea of having a real date with you.
Let her know what she can expect and give the impression that it’ll be fun.
You’re preparing her beforehand, making it something to look forward to.
This will make her more likely to say YES when you will ask her out.
3. Get Her Real Number
You’re enjoying the conversation.
She replies fast, topics come naturally and you’re hitting it off with her.
Then one day, the conversation dies and you’ve no way to contact her.
While online dating does have its perks.
It’s actively a platform for people to meet and find their love interests.
The drawback is that most people are not invested when having conversations online.
They can cut it off and seek out another in a heartbeat.
But who can blame them?
There are thousands of other options when it comes to meeting someone new.
This is why it becomes so important to ask the girl for her real number!
“But am I not already chatting with her? Why do I need that?”
Aside from having a more dependable method of contact, there are added benefits tied to it.
With her number, more options of contact become open to you.
You can call, send a picture, and even video-call her if she’s willing.
By doing so, you’re moving away from online to offline interactions.
Letting a girl hear your real voice is one of my favorite methods to warm up a girl online.
The reason? There are tons of advantages.
- Simply hearing your voice clears any doubts in the girl’s mind.
She’ll know that you’re a real person, and start to treat you seriously.
The interaction will also become more intimate.
- It is a sign of trust
If she ends up giving you her number, it reflects her trust in you.
She can no longer cut you off as easily as on the online dating platform.
And giving you access to her personal privacy.
- Less chance of flakiness
There are fewer chances that the girl will flake on you on a date.
After all, giving her number is a sign that she’s treating the interaction seriously.
Use these 4 methods to effectively get her number.
Online Dating – When Should You Ask Her Out?
When online dating, the turning point is definitely the actual date.
All the effort was put into engaging the girl, getting to know her.
And finally getting her real number.
These are positive signs that she is slowly building up her trust towards you and is more receptive to your advances.
You feel that everything is in place.
And now, it’s time for you to finally ask her out for a date.
But the question is when?
How do you know when’s the right time to ask her out when online dating?
A badly timed approach can turn a yes into a no.
So asking at the right time becomes the deciding factor for a date.
Problem with Asking Her Out When Dating Online
The level of trust needed to give someone your phone number.
It’s drastically different from the trust required to meet someone in person.
This is especially true when meeting someone on an online dating platform.
Think about it… if a date goes badly, the girl will be in a very awkward situation.
Not to mention that being women, they are at a higher risk of danger if they meet the wrong person.
There are many considerations for a girl when deciding to meet someone online for the first time.
To effectively convince her on a date you MUST build rapport with her.
Make her feel safe and trust you as a person.
Assure her that she’s not going to regret her decision for a physical meetup.
4. Give Yourself a Timeframe
The minute you start chatting with the girl, the countdown starts.
You should always give yourself a deadline.
Remind yourself to ask her out within the timeframe.
If you are serious about dating her, ask her out as early as possible.
As the saying goes: “Strike when the iron is hot”
Therefore the best time to ask her out is in the initial 1-2 weeks.
You might then ask:
“Isn’t it too rushed? What if she thinks I’m desperate?”
It might seem so, but if you are to wait too long…
You risk losing the initial spark that was built through your interaction.
Keep in mind that you met this girl through online dating platforms.
This implies that she’s ready to date and is open to options.
Once you feel that she’s getting comfortable, go ahead and ask her out!
Sources state that another good rule of thumb is to ask the girl out after receiving around 10 messages on an online dating app, and 2 – 3 messages on an online dating site.
And you can reach these numbers in the first week.
Again, it enforces the fact that 1-2 weeks is the ideal time to ask her out.
5. Avoid Too Much Texting
As human beings, we are innately curious creatures.
This is especially apparent for women.
If you intrigue her, she’s going to pay more attention to you.
She becomes more likely to accept your date invite. That’s a simple fact!
So how are you going to intrigue her, to keep her attracted to you?
You need to retain a sense of mystery!
Make her crave to learn about you, knowing that you’ve not shown all your cards.
When texting, avoid speaking too much about yourself but rather focus on finding out more about her.
Don’t reveal too much, and keep texting to a minimum.
That’s not to say you need to hide who you really are, or avoid talking about your life.
But rather, leave certain topics fresh till you have the date with her in person!
Once she’s curious to know you as a person, she’ll most likely say yes to a date.
There is a price to pay when you reveal too much, too early.
If she already knows every single detail about your life.
She will not have the same eagerness when it comes to meeting in person.
Worse still, she might even get bored before the meet-up and end up flaking.
That’s something you definitely want to avoid.
So avoid texting too much, and shroud yourself in mystery.
Intrigue her, and you can be sure she’ll want to meet you in person.
Check out these 23 tips to seriously give a boost to your texting game.
6. Get on a Call With Her
When meeting an online date for the first time, you need to build rapport.
The best way to do this is to get on a call with her.
Have a proper conversation over the phone where she can hear your voice.
As compared to texting, a call carries emotion and you’re able to discern her level of interest.
You’re actively bringing the interaction to the next level.
You’re slowly ramping up at a steady pace before the direct meetup.
Assure her and make her more at ease when she actually meets you.
Online Dating Tips for Men – Asking Her Out
When it comes to online dating, the attitude of a girl is very different.
As compared to how she would react to a real-life date.
Regardless of how many dates you’ve been on, online dating might still catch you by surprise.
You need to familiarize yourself as online dates are a totally different beast.
Not being able to identify who you’re chatting with in person, being unable to hear her voice.
Online dating has a degree of anonymity.
Therefore you need to be more prepared as compared to traditional dates.
Here are the best tips that’ll guide you.
To handle different scenarios and make your first date successful.
7. Be Willing to take the lead
While there are obvious differences when it comes to online dating, certain things do not change.
Girls in general are still not used to taking the lead.
And placing themselves in a disadvantageous position.
Exacerbated by the fact that on online dating apps, she will encounter more suitors than in real life.
Due to this, there’s absolutely no need for them to take the initiative.
Of course… there are exceptions where they find you attractive.
And the girl then goes out of her way to ask you for a date.
But in normal cases, that’s not going to happen.
So be willing to take the lead.
And make sure you stand out from the countless other guys hitting on her.
Be confident in your approach.
Make sure to grab her attention, take the lead and ask her out for a date.
8. Re-evaluate Your Expectations
We have only been discussing the girl’s expectations.
But at the same time, it is equally important to address your own.
The same rule applies to yourself.
You have never met this girl in person.
Hence you are only able to conjure up a perception in your mind.
Not being able to meet in person has its own set of risks.
The biggest risk is you creating a persona of the girl based on your own perception.
You might have seen her profile.
Chatted with her for weeks, and maybe even talked on the phone.
However, meeting the girl in person can still bring about a new revelation that you do not know.
Be it her looks, her personality, or quirks that she told you about.
You bring up your expectations only to find out otherwise.
You must be ready to accept the fact.
That the girl might not be what you expected before the meet-up.
Otherwise, your reaction when you do meet her will be painful to watch.
Keep an open mind and always be willing to re-evaluate your expectations.
The girl might be even more attractive after knowing her in person.
The most accurate picture is painted only when you see her in person.
9. Be Upfront In What You’re Looking For
People have different intentions being on an online dating website or app.
Some might be looking for casual hookups.
While there may be others looking for a more committed relationship.
If you find a girl online that you share a mutual interest, it’s important to have “the talk”.
You’ll never really know what she’s looking out of this interaction unless you ask her.
You might be out looking for a committed relationship.
While she could only be wanting some companionship.
Be honest about your intentions and tell her what you are looking for.
Not being clear on what you both want will lead to disappointment.
Ask about her intention when you feel things are progressing.
And only take the conversation further if both your intentions align.
This will save you time and protects you from a broken heart.
If you two are unable to see eye to eye, it’s time to move on.
There are plenty of options available when dating online.
Even if this one girl is not for you, doesn’t mean it’s over.
Keep an open mind and there’s a chance for you to find another who matches your level of commitment.
It’ll save you a lot of time and energy.
Which you can then invest in a more meaningful relationship.
More Online Dating Tips To Get The Girl
Online Dating is a wholly different playing field from traditional dates. Use these articles to further up your online dating skills and secure your date:
- Online dating platform like Facebook is one you shouldn’t neglect.
- On a date, flirting is necessary to create intimacy.
- Ramp up the intimacy and give her a memorable first kiss.
To sum it up
Online dating is great.
It’s now so much easier to get a date with your perfect match.
But no matter how advanced the pre-defined criteria, or matching algorithm.
Nothing beats getting to know the girl in person.
In the end, all online dating platforms are merely a channel to interact.
The ultimate goal is to secure an actual date with the girl.
So there you have it! Our Online Dating tips on asking her out.
Use this as a guide to understanding the differences in online dating.
As well as the best methods to ask her out.
Without knowing anything about her, stand out from the rest to convince her for a date.
Do it wrong… and she’ll not hesitate to ignore you.
Like the many others, she didn’t bother to reply.
Recommended Online Dating Sites
Here are our recommended online dating sites which we have tried for ourselves and feel that you’ll love too!
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